Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Zippity do-dah that was how 2010 went by. In a blur and it's December 2010. The year while it zipped past certainly has had it's memorable moments. And what would the year be like without the mandatory bumps that life hands us.

Overall, still very much in love with my guy. We both decided to stop fighting what the universe is saying and just be together. We decided that the universe message was along the lines of, "you two are nuts and to save the rest of human-kind I am keeping you two together no matter what" LOL

That being said, my tribe is very happy, they love my honey as if he were their dad. Which I must say he is pleased as can be to step into that role. He loves them completely and is there supporting them along the way.

Despite other family challenges, 2010 has been ok. Still have my health and parts of my sanity. I mean lets be honest I was never completely sane. Parenthood isn't for wimps and you have to be slightly nuts to have and raise kids.

My bff of 29yrs and I are looking at next year and want to do something to celebrate 30yrs of being friends. I suggested going to a tropical island and being served drinks by men who live to serve us. She being the realist suggested a girls weekend of laughing and other debaughery closer to home. Either way drinks will be involved and that is a good thing.

I will soon be 45 (jan 3rd) if you wish to send me a card:-) Anyway to be friends with someone for 30yrs. I don't just mean a casual friend. I mean I can call in the middle of the night, and bawl my eyes out type of friend. The type of friend that if she got arrrested I may not have bail money but I would be there to do what I could.

Tis a rare friendship indeed that survives this long in this day and age. We met at the age of 15 on the bus to camp. Good Old Camp Nissokone to be exact. As I recall it was not friendship at first sight. She was bossy and pissed me off LOL.

However, somehow we got to know each other and wha-la here we are. We were pregnant with our 1st children at the same time. She is the Godmother to my girls. And now we are surviving divorce together.

Our paths in life have been very, very different. Yet, no matter the path we knew that each of us was there along the way cheering the other on. At times being a friend, a good friend entails keeping your mouth shut when you KNOW you should say something. But usually one or both of us will say to the other, "why didn't you say something to me" to which the universal answer is, "because you were determined to do it no matter what was said."

So as 2010 draws to a close, I know that I cried, laughed and listened to my best bud and that she did the same for me. Look out 2011 here we come, cocktail glasses in hand.

True Love will find a way

Well here we are the beginning of fall in michigan. It's a chilly 50 degrees at 4:47am. Yes, pain has already started that lovely ritual of keeping me awake. Can't complain I am awake, Goddess knows that is the biggest battle, waking up each day.

Well seems that relationship that I thought I was dissolving a few blogs ago, is not only still going on, its stronger and better than it's ever been. We have both come to the conclusion that the universe is going to keep us together no matter what LOL.

During the years we have been involved and have separated for one reason or another, we seem to end up back together. We both laugh at the fact that we are both so nuts, and rather unique that the universe is keeping us together so that we dont' rattle anyone else's cage.

I am very fine, being with him. He is the one who totally gets me, all my quirks and irks so to speak. I just as well know him and his quirks and irks too. Don't get me wrong, we love each other intensely. But not everyday is a day at the beach and that's ok. We have made a commitment to each other to stay together. To work out whatever may come our way.

I am there to help him care for his mom, and watch for her and him. As I have stated before being a fulltime caregiver is hard. But despite that huge task he wants us in his life 100%. That statement carries alot of love and responsibility. We have both been married before and know what mistakes we have made with former mates. We will make mistakes with each other and yes piss each other off. But this time, this time we will take the time to perhaps yell, get upset, then cool off and listen to what the other person has to say.

The level of love, trust and respect I have for him is something that comes with hard work, and yes taking the time to fully know this man and enjoy who he is. He fully loves my girls and they love him just as much.

So it's not your "traditional" family. The important thing is that it is a family and that's all that matter.

This is going to make me stronger?

Well lots of family things going on. First let me state my kids are having a blast this summer. I have girls 15 & 12 and they have had one of the busiest and fun summers in a long time.

Being a single mom we can't just up and leave whenever. But I have managed to get one to camp for the first time and my oldest earned a scholarship to attend art classes at a local art school.

So if we aren't in the pool, at a barbeque, then we have been in the house in the a/c. Needless to say Michigan has had it's hottest summer yet. But we are not complaining we are thanking the Goddess for allowing to have working a/c to begin with.

Now on another note, I love being a mom and I wouldn't trade my kids or the experience of being a mother for all the money in the world...I mean that 1000%. However, my ex and his family plainly put SUCK! I know you can't pick your family in terms of who your parents etc are. But I guess I did sort of pick my mate many moon ago.

Well this summer my girls made a very adult, powerful decision on their part. It was a very emotional decision. I commend them for tackling something that I wish that they didn't have to, but circumstances and people being and acting how they are, the decision was the right one.

I know being a mom is challenging experience and I always say that "parenthood is not for wimps" LOL. Parenthood is not to be taken lightly at all in any way shape or form.

I am here to support my girls 100% and they know it. So I guess, yes, certain parts of the family tree do SUCK. Perhaps its time to dissect those branches from the tree altogether. The tree can and will continue to grow strong despite a few wayward branches.

All I can say is to certain folks you are missing out on alot. My kids are fantastic, smart, healthy and yes beautiful. They make me laugh and we have at times all cried together.

But I tell you hearing them laugh even now at the age of 15 & 12 brings a smile to my face, just as it did when I hear them laughing at the ages of 5 & 3.

So I guess we are all stronger in the long run.

Hot Fun in the summertime

Well summer is in full force around here. Temps have been in the mid 90's for over a week. I am so grateful to have central a/c.

The 4th of july was pretty good. I actually got the chance to sit down and talk and laugh and share memories with my good friend of 30yrs. Now I am only 44 so for me to have a very, very good friend for 30yrs means we met when we were younger. Like we were both 15 and met on the bus headed for good old camp nissokone.

My years as a camper then a staff member at Nissokone cannot be mentioned without bringing a smile or even an outloud chuckle to my face. Working at a summer camp is not for the week. You gotta like kids and you must have an endless supply of energy and zest.

M and I have been through it all, college, marriage, kids, divorce and now in our mid 40's we are living our lives. We have both learned what we both want and need and desire in various relationships in our lives.

M is entering the world of divorce and balance. I however, am on the extended tour, having divorced many moons ago. When she calls or emails with questions, tears and just frustration I can definately understand what she is going through and will continue to go through.

At this time in my life love has once again dissolved for me. Someone who I had been involved with for quite sometime have parted ways. Not necessarily due to him or I falling out of love. On the contrary we are both still in love with each other. But due to family obligations we cannot continue with our relationship. His time is very much divided with taking care of his ailing mom. It's very difficult to be a care giver. I did it with both of my grandparents. I understand his lack of patience at times, I understand his frustrations with the way things are in his life and that of his mother.

This relationship simply fell apart due to lack of time and attention. It takes two to have a relationship. It takes two to WORK at making/having a successful relationship. After years of working, time and endless amounts of love it is just no longer possible for us to continue on as is.

I decided that he needs to concentrate fully on his moms health and his well being. He doesnt' have the time or dedication to attempt a healthy relationship with me. I know that I am a damn good woman, who wants and deserves someone to love me fully and that is going to happen with this person.

At this time, yes we are still friends. Yes at times he will come by and take the kids and I out for ice cream. So he still is around in our lives and that's ok.

So now that this relationship has disssovled what's next for this wonderful woman? Who knows. I am sure love will definately come back when who knows. But for now I am ok. I continue to raise and laugh and love my kids. We are fully involved in summer activities and classes. My kids are preparing for trips and going to pool parties and on trips.

Is my life full enough without love in it? I have love, the love of my kids, the love of myself. Just not the love of a mate at this time. I always say if you are going to love, love fully and openly. Yes, you will get hurt, that comes with love.

But as the saying goes, "...tis better to love and lost, than to never have loved at all." To that I have to say, YES, yes it is better to love and loose than never to have loved at all.

Love, true love is definately worth the work, and time and attention to keep a relationship going.

Wisdom from an 11yr old.

My youngest daughter, who I call my boho flower child. She is so compassionate. If she thought it would end war she would bake cookies for the world. Syd only wants love and hugs all around.

Lately her mom, (that would be me) has been dealing with life and all that entails. I have't been feeling too well. So my darling child knowing her mother sent me this lovely piece that one of her friends sent to her.

If anything we can all learn something from your random 11yr. old. Thank you Sydne. I love you.
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Love me, hate me. Either way, you’re still thinking of me. People who gossip to you will gossip about you. Hate the haters, love the lovers. Don’t forget to be unique. Do what you love, love what you do. Life is a waste without friends, so make some.

Love is stronger than you think it is. You are loved, you are hated. Life isn’t fair, but who cares? Relax when you can, work hard when you have to. Don’t do what you know you can’t. Don’t do what you don’t want to do. Wisdom is only expressing cleverness in a kind, smart way. People don’t know what they mean unless you know they mean it. Take yourself seriously. Don’t doubt yourself or your friends. Don’t care what others think of you unless it’s positive; if not, they are extremely jealous. Believe in yourself.

Remember that people can change, and that’s okay. Remember that you can change, to be whoever or whatever you want to be. Love isn’t everything, friendship isn’t everything, you aren’t everything, but combined, they are everything. Life is fun, once you make it so. Ignore the ones who are mean. Follow the ones who are nice. Lead whatever you want. Don’t be too full of yourself. Don’t get a big head. No one has any reason to hate you, no matter how bad.

Words of Wisdom from a good Ravenclaw

Ugly Betty Bummer

So here it is brutally cold out today. I am in Michigan if anyone else is reading this blog. The high temp of 21 was at 7:30am this morning and it's a breezy 16 right now and the temps are sinking fast and the winds are howling.

Sadly its a lovely pain filled day. So what else is new, I have been in constant pain since the baby was born...btw the baby will be 12 in July LOL.

One of our family favorite shows, Ugly Betty was just cancelled by ABC. Now I get involved in tv shows to a point too much. It's a form of escape. I mean if anyone knows me, and remembers the now defunct show Another World. I did ALOT of fan/show stuff behind the scenes.

But no I was not involved with Ugly Betty on that level. I didn't know any of the shows stars on a personal level. But the fact that Ugly Betty hit the airwaves at a time when my two daughters now 14 & 11 could appreciate what the show was about. Even the title suggested "hate" on a new obvious level. But the show also proved that in the end, smarts and being on the decent side of the fence does pay off.

At times my family and I would do the usual, talking back to the tv while UB was on, especially if Betty was being particularly naive about someone and their obvious negative intentions toward her.

The viewers have seen Betty grow professionally and more importantly personally. Betty is still a wondeful woman who likes to seek the good out in everyone. But these days Betty is sporting a well deserved protective wall around her as she should. Working with the likes of Wilhemia Slater and her staff its no wonder Betty doesn't have full body armor on fulltime.

While some folks in the viewing community may dismiss UB as mindless viewing. This show has taught my gorgeous girls a few things, bolstered along with words from mom. So Syd and Shel just remembered when we watched this show, what we talked about.

1. Looks aren't everything. Eventually you have to have some smarts to back you up.

2. Not everyone you meet will like you. Period. No matter how nice, or sweet you are, not everyone will like you, get over it.

3. People will stab you in the back if they get a chance. This particular note follows hand in hand with item #2. IF someone doesn't like you and you are succeeding and doing it well, trust me someone will be gunning for you be aware and keep doing what you are doing.

4. No matter what always believe in yourself. Don't look to anyone else to validate who you are.

5. When in doubt, call your mom she won't steer you wrong, I promise.

6. Your mom is a handbag freak, so let me drool over my coaches, pradas, and Louis Vuittons that I find at the thrift store.

7. Let your haters be your motivators.

Realistic New Year Goals

I don't believe in all the New Years resolutions crap. I believe that you should always try and be a better person overall. Loosing 10lbs and you can still be a negative bitter person. Why not try and work on the whole you mind, body and soul.

Here are some tips passed along from one of my sister witches. Blessings

HANDBOOK 2010

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive
present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin
your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum
that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD/The Goddess heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD/THE GODDESS for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.