Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Spring Cleaning
The cover on the April Issue of Body & Soul states, Spring Clean your life; clear the clutter and find yourself" That really got me thinking about things in my life.
Maybe it's just the time in my life, I am clearing out the clutter. Extra stuff, getting rid of clothes that I haven't worn. Handbags, I LOVE handbags but I have given away a few precious ones...Even my red Prada that was a thrift store find is going to a new home soon. Why? I am not using it, someone I know wants it so off it goes.
Clearing out not only clutter of stuff....but clearing out of the mind, emotional baggage. I have also said and told others it's ok to clear out your house of friendship. You know folks who you call friends although they contribute nothing to life. They don't call, email, nothing...there is just the fact that you use to contact and communicate with said person then for some reason, nothing. No contact, no calls.
Well I have cleaned out my house of so-called friends, but what about family? Can you clean out family? Can you cut ties with family no matter what their role if any in your life? YES.
Family, first and foremost are people. And lets face it, just like those so-called friends of yours, family can take up unwanted space in your life and contribute nothing.
I have been contributing to several family relationships with my ex-husbands family since my divorce several years ago. Well yesterday was it for me. I am cutting those familial ties once and for all. Now dont get me wrong the ex's family has been for the most part pretty decent...to my kids. I have maintained those ties for my kids. Well it has really dawned on me that certain members of his family are really not worth my time and valueable energy anymore. My girls are being treated as cannon fodder in a war they have no business being a part of.
Oh sure, it's family someone is always getting hurt or stepped on, or mistreated. Well maybe in other families, but not in mine. My children's piece of mind, self esteem and outright look on life is very important to me. Yes, family is very important to me, which why cutting ties hurts but it's needed. My children especially my oldest has suffered some serious emotional damage because folks chose to put themselves first before said child.
Well with all this being said, it's ok. My girls will be fine. Yes, they will miss the interaction I have for so many years kept up for them. I will no longer make calls, arrange visits, and so forth. IT's past time for me to let go.
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